Argentina Part 1: Impressions

As many of you know, I recently spent a couple of weeks down in the wonderful, interesting, and exciting country of Argentina. For those of you who may not have heard of this place, it is in South America, below Brazil, Paraguay, Uruguay, and just about everything really. It is thus, sadly, very far away.

Rather than giving you all a play-by-play of my two weeks down there, I will instead start with a few impressions I had of various Argentinian things, and later perhaps give you a detailed account of certain adventures you might find amusing.

The People

I know usually they say to leave the best for last, but I am just so freaking excited about the people of Argentina that I have to talk about them first. Then again, I am not quite sure exactly what to say. I can't really express how freaking awesome and kind and generous and welcoming Argentinians are (for the most part). You will just have to take my word for it, or hopefully, visit one day.

In Buenos Aires, Anna and I stayed with some old family friends of my mom's. When I say old, I mean that they hadn't seen each other or been in touch for some 20 years (short of a very brief stay last year). I have never met these people, yet they (Millie and Martin) picked me and Anna up from the airport, cooked us dinner, gave us a bed for three nights, spare keys, and more or less anything we could possibly want or imagine, including food, comfort, DVDs of House Season 6, wine, and more food. Plus, Millie's brother Eloy and his girlfriend invited us to their house for dinner, spent a couple of hours cooking an awesome asado (aka meat. Lots and lots of amazing grilled meat) for us, then took us out to a club in Buenos Aires with some sweet live music. Pretty darned awesome if you ask me.

Okay, you might say that this kind of treatment isn't that unusual, and that I'm practically family, and of course you are going to treat your guests well. But I am telling you, that sort of kindness was apparent from more or less all the Argentinians we met. As another example, people tend to ask cab drivers in Argentina for directions. In the middle of the road, while driving. Not only do the cab drivers roll down their windows, but they actually give directions. Correct ones! Usually with pointing and smiling too! Imagine that in NYC.

Another thing about the cab drivers: they love to chat with you. I mean, nearly every cab driver we met (which was quite a few), asked us how we liked Buenos Aires and Argentina, told us all kinds of interesting things, wished us good luck, gave us advice, talked soccer with us, whatever. It was pretty awesome, except for the mental anguish of having to think in so much Spanish.

In nearly every hostel we stayed in, the hosts or people who worked their went out of their way to be friendly. Not just in the you're-giving-me-money-and-business friendliness, but honest curiosity and concern. Patricia, one of the women who worked at our hostel in Cafayate, sat down and played cards with us for a couple of hours. The guy at the Tilcara hostel was so friendly I thought Anna was going to take him home with her, and I may have been slightly tempted myself.

The laundry man we went to in Cafayate talked to us for no less than 30 minutes when we dropped off our dirty clothes. He told us all sorts of things and seemed genuinely excited to get to talk about his town. And he didn't just do this when we brought in our clothes, but continued our conversation when we came to pick them up later that night sometime around 11:30, despite the fact that the place closed at 9 and he had no other customers.

Luis, the mechanic we met through circumstances that I will describe in another blog (dun dun dunnnn), gave us his personal cell phone number and asked us to come by his place whenever to check up on things, which we did.

When Anna and I were in need of help (again, I'll get to this in another blog), at least four or five groups of people stopped to offer advice, help, and friendliness.

Anyway, I don't know if my stories quite conveyed the overall feeling of trusting and generosity and kindness I got from nearly everyone we met in Argentina, but it was simply stunning. The people were perhaps my favorite thing about Argentina, and it makes me a little sad to say that Americans just don't have that reputation of being so laid back, sweet, and helpful towards strangers and visitors to their country. We should change that!

The Driving

Now that I have given you such a wonderful and idealistic image of Argentinians, I am ready to crush it all. Because, let me tell you, they drive like maniacs. They may or may not actually have rules of the road in Argentina, but they certainly don't follow them. Things like stop signs, traffic lights, lanes, speed limits, and road signs are more like suggestions than rules, and fairly poor suggestions at that. Most intersections have neither stop signs nor traffic lights, and it's something of a first-come first-serve battle of the vehicles to see who crosses first and fastest.

Now, I know this is coming from someone spoiled from the first world, but when you see a highway marked on a map with numbers and a nice steady black line, you are inclined to think that people actually might use said road, and that it might actually be a road. Think again. A thick black line on a map labeled "Highway 32" or some such is just as likely to be a tiny dirt road than a paved highway. It may or may not ever pass conveniences like gas stations of people.

Something else about driving in Argentina. Here, we predominately drive our cars on gas (gasoline). In Argentina, they drive their cars not only on gas, but also on gasoline. Which is to say that in the trunk of every car is a giant tank that looks like it would be more comfortable on the back of a scuba diver than in a motor vehicle, which is filled with compressed gas, on which the car can also run. Somewhere in each car is also supposedly a regular gas tank. This confusing state of affairs will be touched upon at a later time. Suffice to say that Argentinian drivers are insane, as are their roads, and their gas/gasoline stations.

The Water Problem

I should perhaps have titled this little section the Water Distribution Problem. It isn't that Argentinians don't have enough or have too much water. They just have a really poor idea of how to distribute it. For example, in the north, the majority of your "rivers" look about like this:

Which is to say, there is quite a large trench where water should be, but perhaps only a tiny muddy trickle of anything resembling water, and in many "rivers", no water at all. Anna and I came upon at least four or five such rivers which all seemed very prepared to contain a great deal more water, and perhaps were a little sad about their pathetically dry state. In no fewer than two of these river beds did we see large construction equipment. It seems as though Argentina is preparing to widen and deepen their river trenches in order to coax more water to flow. I wish them the best of luck in this endeavor.

In other parts of the country, however, like in the northeast, we have a vast abundance of water. Perhaps an absurd amount of water. Way more water than any reasonable river really needs:

This image is perhaps only a third or a quarter of the river, but I couldn't fit it all in one shot. I tried telling the Argentinians that they should work on their water distribution, and perhaps try to even it out a bit, but my Spanish is a little rusty, and I think they missed the point. Perhaps they were convinced their bulldozers and rototillers were already on their way to making more water in the too-dry areas, and the tourists were enough to soak up the extra water in the too-wet places. I just hope that one day, they will manage to have a little river equality in their country.

The "Winter"

They told me, "It's winter in the southern hemisphere now! It's July! Bring warm clothes!" So I did. I brought layers and sweaters and a ski coat and boots and extra socks and long pants. Little did I know, "winter" in Argentina (admittedly, only the parts of Argentina farther north than Buenos Aires), really means t-shirt weather. Some days, I maybe needed a light jacket. The cacti and palm trees that were more or less ubiquitous indicated that "winter" this close to the equator really means mild to perfect temperatures ranging from 65-75, almost perpetual sunshine, and chilly nights to keep the mosquitoes at bay. This may or may not be a con for you, depending on how you like perfect weather, t-shirts, etc... I'm inclined to love it, especially since I was missing 110 degree weather back home, and my lack of t-shirts proved only slightly problematic.

The Food

Okay I know I said that the people were the best thing about Argentina, but I may have been lying. The food was amazing. Amazing and cheap. Really cheap. I'm usually an almost-vegetarian and haven't missed steak or really any kind of red meat (or chicken for that matter) much at all in the past couple of years. On occasion I would get a craving for bacon or lamb, but that's about it. In Argentina, however, I discovered what steak can be. It was divine. It was wonderful. It was perhaps one of the most delicious and flavorful things I have ever consumed. And, I could buy a giant steak (the size of your face, if you have a large face), two sausages, two pints of beer, and a giant basket of fries for fifteen US dollars. I can't get over that.

Argentina is also famous for empanadas, which are little pastry things filled with meat or chicken or veggies or whatever, and they are delicious. They are also dirt cheap. Like seventy cents each cheap. Even I couldn't eat more than maybe five at a go, and that's after hiking all day.

Other than meat and empanadas, Argentinians love themselves some alfajores. These are something like little cakes, and something like cookies, and are filled with chocolate or dulce de leche and are amazing. They are like the Argentinian candy, and so much better than candy. Which brings me to dulce de leche. I wasn't a huge fan at first, since dulce de leche is basically spreadable sugar with a hint of vanilla or caramel, but it grows on you. Also, it's cheap, and everywhere, and insanely sweet.

The only bad thing I can think to say about the food from Argentina is that it's all in Argentina, and not here. Frig.

That about sums it up for my general impressions of Argentina, at a glance. Next up: Adventures with POS.

ADD

I am fairly certain that I have MADD. What's MADD, you might ask? It's the term I've decided on for my particular brand of ADD: Melanie ADD. It differs somewhat from the typical ADD. Let me explain.

You see, I get bored incredibly easily, and lose focus constantly, but only with certain things. With other things I have the patience of a saint. Okay, probably not a saint, but some patience, anyway.

For example, I can sit down and read a book for hours and not get bored. And when I say hours, I mean like 10-12 hours, not 2-3 hours. When I want to study, I can focus like nobody's business. I can go over biochemistry problems and organic chemistry mechanisms unceasingly for a whole day, two days, several days even, without flinching. And don't even get me started on the number of hours I've spent writing essays.

Anyone who has been around me reading, writing, or studying understands the depth of that focus. You could talk about me right next to me and I wouldn't hear a word you say. You could have a dance party in the same room and I probably wouldn't notice. It is a wonderful (and for some people, infuriating) tic of mine.

On a side note, this sometimes pisses the hell out of my parents, brother, boyfriend, and friends. Often someone will ask me a question or say something while I'm reading. Moments later we will inevitably have a conversation that goes like this:

"Melanie. Melanie. MELANIE. Didn't you hear me?"

"Uh, what? Were you talking to me just now?"

"There is no one else in the room. I only said your name a dozen times. You even responded. I'm standing right next to you."

"Huh. So what were you saying again?"  And I won't have any recollection of any of that. That's how focused I can be (or oblivious, if you're irritated about it). This actually happened once while I was watching dancers, and two people were having a very loud conversation about me (jokingly, I assume) immediately behind me. I think I ruined the funny part by not noticing in the slightest.

I can also sit on a sailboat and think all afternoon without getting bored. I can be entertained for an hour or more with a piece of string, or a remote control (forget the TV), or a stick (see you can write in the sand with it, or make a little tepee if you have a few, or you can pretend it's a sword, or a staff, or any of another dozen things). I have in my life undertaken somewhat daunting tasks for days, like trying to make myself ambidextrous, or trying to catch wild animals (really, who hasn't?).

So what makes me think I am ADD?

It is all the other things. The conversations that start and end abruptly and change topic a dozen times in under a minute. The near inability to hold onto one thread of thought for minutes on end. The challenge of holding eye contact instead of gazing around at all the random things in the room/space I am occupying. I have (despite my obliviousness) noticed that most other people do not have these difficulties.

For example, you may have noticed how short these paragraphs are (generally). I am making a serious effort almost all the time when blogging to stay on topic. It's actually quite a bit of a problem, and one of the reasons I don't post as often as I should, and also end up with a lot of side notes (such as this one. I meant to say, I edit profusely. I didn't really want to admit that, but there you go).

My highschool friends used to tell me I was like a goldfish. By the time I'd swum to one side of the bowl, I'd forgotten the other side. I think they were more referring to my lack of memory than my poor attention span, but either way works.

Speaking of fish, the few times Brian has taken me fishing, it has been incredibly challenging to not reel in and recast immediately after casting. Supposedly you have to leave the bait hanging out for a while to attract the fish. This. This is ridiculous.

Anyway, what was I saying? Ah yes, what makes me ADD. Well like I said, there are many times I get bored really easily, and can't pay attention to anything. Work can be like this. Planning experiments is very mentally taxing, simply because I have to pay attention to a lot of things at once, and can't let my mind wander. Most of my screw-ups at work have little to do with intelligence and everything to do with focus. Unfortunately, one without the other isn't particularly useful.

This is also a reason I am pretty obsessive about lists and post-its. Really, really obsessive. Anna can attest to this since she lived with me in college. No joke, my desk was constantly covered in post-its. I couldn't remember or focus on anything I needed to remember long enough to actually commit it to memory, so I wrote it down. I would never have done homework otherwise, which maybe wouldn't have been that big a loss, in retrospect.

Anyway, the really curious thing that really led me to think about my ADD-ness is the internet. You would think that the internet has a near infinite capacity to appease boredom and keep one's attention. I mean, you can look up anything you want to know (just about), play more games than you probably knew existed, talk to complete strangers, talk to your friends, watch videos, read comics, write, and much more.

And yet, I get bored on the internet in a matter of minutes. I kid you not. I get on my computer in the mornings and three minutes later I'm like, "Well, the internet sure is boring. It hasn't changed much since yesterday." This happens about three or four times a day.

I feel like maybe I'm doing the internet wrong. Perhaps I should try playing more games. Or reading more of the news, or something. But so far everything I've tried gets boring really quickly. Writing is the only thing I can do for more than ten minutes without having to find something in real life to occupy my attention.

What about facebook, you might be wondering. That's boring too! I mean, I like the ability to connect with people far away and get in touch fairly easily, but I usually check facebook once a day or every other day. And even then I'll spend about five minutes looking at the news feed and then wander away. This is a real problem on gchat as I tend to leave a lot of conversations in the middle, to some of my friends' bemusement. Later, I blame it on science.

All I know is that the internet is a fairly boring place. Pretty much anything I can do on the internet I can do in real life, only it's better. Like play games! Settlers of Catan would be much less fun not in person, and one of my favorite parts of solitaire is being able to cheat. Yeah, I cheat on solitaire. That game is f---ed up.

Or meet people. That's more fun in real life too, especially since you can avoid the creepers much more easily.

Accessing information is a fair bit more challenging in person than on the internet, depending on what you need to know. But libraries do still exist, and my favorite means of finding stuff out, which is asking people, is also better in person. (On a side note, I tried asking someone for help online a little while ago and within five minutes was referenced to managemylife.com... I am now also convinced that people are more polite in person).

I understand that the internet is useful for lots of things. So far though, entertainment and appeasing boredom haven't made it on that list. This isn't to say there aren't things I love about the internet. I read about a dozen webcomics almost daily, love being able to read the news online, and check google traffic all the time. However, I still can't be online for more than ten minutes without getting bored, and I have yet to be bored and turn to the internet for relief. (The one exception to this so far has been watching Naruto. That show is awesome. I don't care if your six-year-old watches it too. He has good taste).

Now maybe this aversion to the internet is common. Perhaps there are many people out there who find the internet equally mundane. But I have my doubts.

For example, Brian comes home from work sometimes and the first thing he does is get online. I wonder at his mental prowess, since he works with computers all day, and yet still finds the capacity to handle them outside work as well. At first I wondered about this special power of his. Within two or three minutes I would be peering over his shoulder in vague amazement, pestering him with questions like, "What are you doing?" and, "What's so interesting?" But it turns out that the internet is actually relaxing/fun for him, and whatever he was doing wouldn't hold me interest in the slightest.

This internet-ease seems to be the case for many others. It would certainly explain smartphones. And Twitter. And a lot of other things I find baffling.

Anyway when I started thinking about how uninteresting I find the internet, I figured that there must be something wrong with me. Many people (probably most of the people I know) spend hours on the internet a day, doing all sorts of supposedly interesting or necessary things. Many more turn to the internet for entertainment on a regular basis.

It was in pondering this that I considered (not for the first time) that I might actually be ADD. An inability to focus on something might explain this bizarre disinterest. And also a lot of other things, like the spastic conversations, the meandering blog posts, the challenge of group work, and the random difficulties I encounter at work and in life.

To be fair, many of those things might be entirely separate problems. I probably have many. But I'm not talking about those right now. So moving on.

Okay someone just informed me that an ability to focus intently is actually a symptom of ADD. Frig. Perhaps I am actually ADD, and not just MADD, or SADD (sarcastically ADD) although I like both those acronyms better.

Also no, I didn't look up anything about ADD before writing this. I have no factual evidence whatsoever for anything in this blog post. This is based entirely on anecdotes and assumptions. So sue me.

Okay time for some cooking and then a book!

The End!

Turns Out People Are Complicated

Who knew?

I was talking with a friend recently about a particular situation in which we have on occasion found ourselves, a situation that is somewhat problematic, and to which there is no obvious solution. I would love anyone's opinion on how to handle this, or if you've ever been in a similar situation how it was resolved.

This particular situation is characterized by conflicting interests, conflicting people, and difficult choices. It might not be that common, but I'm sure many of you have experienced this to some degree. The specific situation I refer to is when you have a boyfriend or girlfriend and friends who do not get along, or who are jealous of each other, or in extreme cases, absolutely can not stand each other and never want to see, much less hear of, the other.

It seems to me rather difficult to have a healthy relationship, either a friendship or romantic relationship, if you can't be open about the things that are important to you, and have to eliminate an entire section of your life from conversation. You might think this is an extreme response to having a friend and bf/gf that don't get along, but if you really dislike someone, or think they aren't good for someone you care about, or are jealous of their influence, hearing about them isn't going to make you too happy.

So it's stressful for everyone, especially the person in the middle. You worry that if you bring up your friend/bf/gf, you will offend the person you're talking to. But you also worry that if you say nothing, they will get suspicious, or jealous. There's also the challenge of not saying anything about someone who is an important part of your life. You have to toe the line carefully between how much to say and how much to leave vague in order to pacify potential irritation or distress.You have to be careful about what you talk about and what you bring up. You have to be on guard at all times (at least if you want to be considerate of either your boyfriend/girlfriend or friend, and keep them in your life).

If you're like me, and have a strong sense of guilt and a desire to not only be as open and honest as possible but to please everyone, certainly the people you care about, this is a true dilemma.

But as bad as the lack of communication is, being forced into the role of bad guy is potentially worse. Every time you have to choose between seeing your gf/bf or your friend, you potentially get flak from the other. There is no "right" choice, and you are constantly forced to appease your own sense of guilt or the people you care about. You are forced to choose between remaining a good friend to someone, meanwhile hurting the person you're with, and making the person you're with happy and sacrificing a friendship. Both feel like crap.

This is thankfully not a super common occurrence. Most people are fairly understanding, and even if they can't stand your friend/boyfriend/girlfriend, they don't expect you to stop seeing them or hanging out, and will support you as long as you're happy. Many people would in fact say that if you get anything less as a response, then the friend/boyfriend/girlfriend isn't worth your affection anyway. But I've been on all sides of this in my life, and you can't control how you feel, or how someone's actions affect you.

Anyway I don't know how other people manage these kinds of situations, or if indeed you can have a long lasting relationship or friendship in the face of these obstacles, but I'd love to hear from anyone who has experiences to share. I've been lucky to have fairly understanding people in my life, but this has come up in the past, and having a friend go through a similar situation just had me wonder if anyone had any insights into this kind of people handling.