Karma

I believe karma is out to get me. I must have done something in a past life to put me on the naughty list of fate. Or perhaps the powers that be just want revenge against my stubborn determination to bring upon springtime before they were good and ready to give me spring.

I say this because I have been struck, for about the dozenth time in the past nine months, with yet another death plague. You might think I am exaggerating, but recently my boss asked me (with the utmost concern) if I was either a hypochondriac or a werewolf, worried about my propensity to be "ill" at least once a month. Unfortunately, I am not a werewolf (that I am aware of), and I'm pretty sure I'm not a hypochondriac either.

I could blame this on a weak immune system, but until this year I never had this problem. I caught a cold once or twice a year like everyone else, and very rarely got the flu or any more dire illness.

Now this could just be the unlucky consequence of a less than healthy lifestyle, but that's also a bit of a stretch. I don't drink in excess, I sleep 7-8 hours a night, I wash my hands a *lot*, I am a sometimes-vegetarian, I go to the gym or dance (which is like a workout) a few times a week, and I tend to avoid people carrying death plagues or tropical areas where every square inch of space carries an entire ecosystem made up of various creatures, bacteria, plants, and insects that could kill you.

And yet somehow, I still manage to catch these malicious viruses and bacteria every time, while everyone around me is spared. It's actually not unlike my experience with mosquitoes. Every time I am trying to enjoy a warm summer evening outdoors with friends, the moment will inevitably be spoiled by a dozen or more mosquitoes attracted to my alluring scent. They will immediately descend upon me with their probosces and gluttonous ways and seek to make a family feast of my blood, all the while injecting their poisons into my body. I will quickly become an itching, seething mass of irritation and frenetic activity, trying to swat away the tiny miscreants. All the while my friends will stand by, bemused, completely unaffected. I am reminded of this scene from The Life Aquatic every single time:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=214w5Bh9mp4

You might think I would be used to these episodic illnesses by now, this year having been rife with them. However, what makes this particular plague even more irritating than usual, and the reason I am convinced my karma is running rather low, is that today happened to be the nicest day this year. It was sunny and over 70 degrees. There was a light breeze. It was the kind of day I have dreamed about all winter. It was the reason for my months of sacrifice (that I detailed quite extensively in my last post).

And yet, karma and fate saw fit to punish me today with this terrible disease.

But I am made of sterner stuff. So I said, "Fuck you Karma! I'm going hiking anyway!" And I did. Shenandoah was beautiful. And while my nose ran about as much as the Potomac in flood, and my white blood cells battled valiantly against poor odds, I hiked, and felt the sun on my face, and stuck one to karma.


I am now reaping the consequences of this decision, namely a cough that has joined forces with my runny nose, sore throat, and headache, nose plugs made of balled up tissues I'm using to dam the incessant flow, and a weariness that has me in bed at 7:30PM.